In the dumps (again)
Aug 1, 2003

I hope life gets itself under control soon, and the fiancé and I can get out on our own. I was hoping, no offense to the new baby here, I was hoping he would be normal, so I could stop hearing how much better the roommates' children are than mine. I figured, if they go through it again, and the experience is more immediate, they'll stop telling me that my son is behind, inferior more or less. *Sighs* Life should be so lucky. He's a great little newborn, he makes me smile a lot, but he's exceptional. Only a week old, and he was smiling when he was born. Yes, I know, it could just be gas, and if I were really mean, I could point that out everytime he smiles, like they pass off special things my son does. But it wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be right to the baby, because he is special. He's very attentive, already trying to pick his head up on day 1 (so was my son, but saying that now would only get ridicule as to what my son is like now. Something like, "Yeah, and now he's got you wrapped around his little finger").

But these baby smiles. I don't think they're gas. He does it all the time, and he does it at such times that it makes it very hard to deny that he is, in fact, smiling--plus, he's not really a gassy baby. I do think he is actually smiling, and it makes me smile in response to recall it. It makes things a lot harder on me and my son though, because now, instead of having a normal baby, they have an exceptional one that they can use to portray a kind of "I told you so" attitude.

I know my son is fine the way he is. He's not spoiled, HE'S TWO (well, almost, but it's still the terrible twos--and he listens quite well for being in this stage). He is doing just fine in his vocabulary, the only time he is unhappy is when everyone else is home (i.e. the other kids come home and start taking toys away from him and then he hits their youngest for it--well, the five-year-old, not the baby, and said youngest falls flies across the floor like my son was superbaby or something, crying at the top of his lungs.

The middle one, isn't supposed to watch cartoon network, and yet, he's allowed to throw huge fits when I change the channel from cartoon network to noggin so my son can watch more educational shows--let's forget the fact that I never change the channel unless this one is playing the computer or went outside--he immediately pitches his fit, and his parents say nothing to him--if it were my son, everyone would turn around and say something like "Oh can it Michael!" *rolls eyes* Ok, in all fairness, the middle one is slightly autistic BUT I've lived with them for over a year now, the middle one is quite capable of behaving himself and canning his own fits over things like the channel the TV is on. It's just that he gets his way everytime he does this kind of stuff (just about anyway), he knows how to take advantage of that kind of thing. Besides, who's to say mine isn't picking up this wailing habit from theirs? I don't say it, because although this is my first child, I know they all have their crocodile tears and temper tantrums, they don't have to learn them--but my son isn't behind or anything because he does them.

And it doesn't stop there! They have three older kids, 5, 6, and 7 besides the newborn, and they get pretty rowdy sometimes, and they get into everything in the kitchen, the middle one often leaving things out to spoil so they have to be thrown away. And yet, anytime anything gets broken it seems like it becomes an immediate match in which I just stay silent and try to ignore the parents while they present evidence that it wasn't any of their children. My son breaks stuff, but theirs have broken plenty of my things not to mention ruined quite a bit of money in food by consuming more than they can handle and then either leaving it out to get bad, or throwing it into a hiding place when they think they're about to be caught. I don't mention this to them, why do they have to throw the other stuff in my face? They're all kids, they do this kind of thing, punish them and then move on, don't sit there making the other person feel bad or responsible for the stuff when there's pretty much a mutual thing going on. I stay quiet just for the sake of getting along. I just ignore this kind of stuff, raise my son the way I want to, and hope the fiancé and I can get out of debt soon enough to move out on our own. It won't do to create animosity between ourselves and our roommates--especially since it's their house, they pay all the utilities and we just pay $200 a month in rent and buy our own groceries.

Sorry, I can get this under control, we can perservere, but sometimes it just helps to vent somewhere. We just need to pay our utilities off that we owe to, and a get started on a few other bills, then we'll be home free. I don't care if we have to move into a trailer with all utilities paid, it'll be so good to finally have our own home, to have no one to answer to when it comes to the house than to each other.

Thanks, I needed to get this off my chest, I feel much better now.