Hermit-Lady
Apr 30, 2006

I apologize to all my online communities that I have not been participating as often in as I use to. I swear to continue to do at least the minimum requirement, even if I'm not a constant presence like I use to be. Occasionally in my life, I get hermity. Usually when my life gets so busy that I need to withdraw from most things for awhile. I don't like getting too far spread out for too long, so I usually pull in my wings for awhile here and there. As it is I'm a rather solitary person, even though I've never lived alone. I'm a homey type person, and I like my solitude when I can get it. I have lost a friend before over it, but I'd say that they weren't as good a friend as I thought if they couldn't understand that I need this every once in awhile. It has nothing to do with anyone but me, and I want everyone I am friends with to realize it. It may seem like forever, but I will be back with a large wingspan again. This time has taken the longest, but then back in September I went through the largest change in my life that I've ever undergone, even bigger than motherhood for me. I have always ALWAYS lived by my family, and always in the same area. It's quite a change for me to move from that area halfway across the country and know only my son and my current fiancé. His friends and family are great, and someday they really will be as close to me as they are to him, I think, they're all good people. However, right now they are his.

I know, it seems as though I respond in opposites huh? I am left with only two people who I know living with me (and even counting those who live close enough to see them face to face with just a phone call, there are still only the two I live with), so I draw into myself instead of seeking out more people to know. It is the way I cope though. As soon as I feel comfortable in ALL of my surroundings, and not just my new home (although outside my new home is absolutely beautiful, I can't count the trees and nature, I'm always comfortable with them, I'm counting the people around me, the fact that when I go to Walmart, that *isn't* who it looks like because I don't know anyone here to run in to, it's a new experience for me). As soon as I feel confident again, it will be time to seek connections. It's really hard to explain actually, but it works well, even if it doesn't sound like it hehe. So, I promise this hermit side of me isn't permanent. The longer I am pestered about it though, the longer it takes (pestering makes me want to withdraw even further when I get like this), so have a little patience with me and I'll be back to "normal" soon ^_^

--Saronai