Proud to be an American
Aug 1, 2003

Yeah. Right. Can you just hear the plit plot of the sarcasm that statement is drenched in? Well, if you couldn't, let me tell you, it's an outright lie. Apologies to my fellow Americans, but I have more shame than anything in that title. In truth, I wasn't too proud to be an American before all the shit hit the fan. Many of us, those that created the stereotype, are just way too...well, way too many things we shouldn't be. Many of us act like our shit doesn't stink when it comes to other countries. So perhaps we are the most powerful country, but with that comes a responsibility and a bit of humility wouldn't be a bad thing. Instead, we throw our weight around and demand everyone else shape their lives to suit ours. If you come over here, you must speak English, how many times have I heard an American complain when a group of people, no matter how large or small, family or friends, speak in a foreign language. How many times have I heard "If you're in American you should speak English"
Oh, but it's alright for us to go to their homes and try to speak English everywhere we go? It disgusts me. Put yourself in the other person's shoes for once!

Now, our reputation is even worse. Our elected leader has made more colossal blunders than any other president, gotten us kicked out of the UN circle, and manipulated the people's emotions after 9/11 to further a cause to attack someone not even related to the 9/11 incident and without just cause. We'd like to make Sadam out to be a monster, but what do we really know about him? No, until you lead his life you don't know. Perhaps we are eliminating a threat that would have been inevitable, I don't know, but we are going about it all the wrong way, and quite frankly I think it's more to fill our vehicles for a cheaper price than any kind of future threat. Hey, it's possible he'd attack us without warning, and we'll get cheaper gas prices at the same time! Many times we act more like we're everybody's High King than a friend respectful of the differences of our friends. It's our way or the Highway.

Granted, some of that above is politics, those of us who give a damn have very little effect on the outcome of our politicians' actions. But hey, I think our country's motto is still "It's our way or the highway" 'cause a great many individuals not in politics seem to act like it. We should be the guardian, not the attacker. Use our greater military power wisely and perhaps play mediator, not High King. Different cultures, different societies, even different languages is what gives our world a little spice in life, a lot of different flavours. Our goal should not be to unite them all into a great big melting pot but to understand and respect each other for our differences.

I won't get into it now, but I have many other reasons to wish I could claim some other title than "American" But this post was all about politics and foreign relations, so I'll just leave it at that.

In the dumps (again)
Aug 1, 2003

I hope life gets itself under control soon, and the fiancé and I can get out on our own. I was hoping, no offense to the new baby here, I was hoping he would be normal, so I could stop hearing how much better the roommates' children are than mine. I figured, if they go through it again, and the experience is more immediate, they'll stop telling me that my son is behind, inferior more or less. *Sighs* Life should be so lucky. He's a great little newborn, he makes me smile a lot, but he's exceptional. Only a week old, and he was smiling when he was born. Yes, I know, it could just be gas, and if I were really mean, I could point that out everytime he smiles, like they pass off special things my son does. But it wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be right to the baby, because he is special. He's very attentive, already trying to pick his head up on day 1 (so was my son, but saying that now would only get ridicule as to what my son is like now. Something like, "Yeah, and now he's got you wrapped around his little finger").

But these baby smiles. I don't think they're gas. He does it all the time, and he does it at such times that it makes it very hard to deny that he is, in fact, smiling--plus, he's not really a gassy baby. I do think he is actually smiling, and it makes me smile in response to recall it. It makes things a lot harder on me and my son though, because now, instead of having a normal baby, they have an exceptional one that they can use to portray a kind of "I told you so" attitude.

I know my son is fine the way he is. He's not spoiled, HE'S TWO (well, almost, but it's still the terrible twos--and he listens quite well for being in this stage). He is doing just fine in his vocabulary, the only time he is unhappy is when everyone else is home (i.e. the other kids come home and start taking toys away from him and then he hits their youngest for it--well, the five-year-old, not the baby, and said youngest falls flies across the floor like my son was superbaby or something, crying at the top of his lungs.

The middle one, isn't supposed to watch cartoon network, and yet, he's allowed to throw huge fits when I change the channel from cartoon network to noggin so my son can watch more educational shows--let's forget the fact that I never change the channel unless this one is playing the computer or went outside--he immediately pitches his fit, and his parents say nothing to him--if it were my son, everyone would turn around and say something like "Oh can it Michael!" *rolls eyes* Ok, in all fairness, the middle one is slightly autistic BUT I've lived with them for over a year now, the middle one is quite capable of behaving himself and canning his own fits over things like the channel the TV is on. It's just that he gets his way everytime he does this kind of stuff (just about anyway), he knows how to take advantage of that kind of thing. Besides, who's to say mine isn't picking up this wailing habit from theirs? I don't say it, because although this is my first child, I know they all have their crocodile tears and temper tantrums, they don't have to learn them--but my son isn't behind or anything because he does them.

And it doesn't stop there! They have three older kids, 5, 6, and 7 besides the newborn, and they get pretty rowdy sometimes, and they get into everything in the kitchen, the middle one often leaving things out to spoil so they have to be thrown away. And yet, anytime anything gets broken it seems like it becomes an immediate match in which I just stay silent and try to ignore the parents while they present evidence that it wasn't any of their children. My son breaks stuff, but theirs have broken plenty of my things not to mention ruined quite a bit of money in food by consuming more than they can handle and then either leaving it out to get bad, or throwing it into a hiding place when they think they're about to be caught. I don't mention this to them, why do they have to throw the other stuff in my face? They're all kids, they do this kind of thing, punish them and then move on, don't sit there making the other person feel bad or responsible for the stuff when there's pretty much a mutual thing going on. I stay quiet just for the sake of getting along. I just ignore this kind of stuff, raise my son the way I want to, and hope the fiancé and I can get out of debt soon enough to move out on our own. It won't do to create animosity between ourselves and our roommates--especially since it's their house, they pay all the utilities and we just pay $200 a month in rent and buy our own groceries.

Sorry, I can get this under control, we can perservere, but sometimes it just helps to vent somewhere. We just need to pay our utilities off that we owe to, and a get started on a few other bills, then we'll be home free. I don't care if we have to move into a trailer with all utilities paid, it'll be so good to finally have our own home, to have no one to answer to when it comes to the house than to each other.

Thanks, I needed to get this off my chest, I feel much better now.