Threads in a Tapestry of Fate
Sep 5, 2003

The past few days it has happened. And everytime it happens, I wonder if other people experience it too? You're just going about your day, and all of a sudden you get a brief picture of yourself, in the future, doing something. It's kind of like deja vu and is this really my life? tied together. These moments are so strange to me. They're like a future picture of how I could end up combined with a feeling like deja vu. Has anyone else experienced something like this I wonder?

Is it just a passing musing on the future, or is it really a glimpse of one of my many paths ahead of me? The deja vu sensation, and the abruptness of these 'visions' often get me wondering if I haven't, indeed, caught a glimpse into what could be if I follow a certain course. If they are glimpses into the what could bes, then there are so very many of them.

The one I have most often is of me in some political position. This one is really odd as I have no interest in politics, they bore me. I shook my head the first time I saw myself making a speech for an election of some type. I've never played the class officers game, I used to abhore politics, and I'm still not very fond of them. More and more lately though, I wish I had a better understanding. I can feel more passion, I get strong desires to jump into some type of office where I can help fix things. I get tired of letting others mess it up and find myself wishing I knew what it took to beat the rest in office and finally start making a difference for the good of our nation.

There was another where I sat at a desk, typing away, stacks of paper on either side, and a book with an unfamiliar title sitting to the side of my computer screen, a book with my name on it. This one, of course could be more wishful thinking, but the political me is just too bizarre.

Yet another me is glimpsed in a library type setting, pouring over ancient tomes, translating words I don't yet know, words as clear as day. Another me is laboring over carefully dusting off ancient relics at a dusty, desert-like dig.

There have been many other such abrupt insights into whatever, not all of them are possible, but they all have hit me with such clarity that I really do believe that those futures are available to me, it just depends on what direction I take, where I place my priorities at.

Another more recent glimpse shows me on a reservation, adopted into a Native American tribe I cannot identify, but I know I have become an apprentice to the shaman and I have had to work to earn my place among them. A dream has taken this reservation foresight further, and I have seen a daughter so real I still, many months later, have trouble convincing myself she isn't a real person.

It is the reservation 'visions' and the political 'visions' that have been getting to me the most lately. Am I crazy for debating on these? I realize most people think that we can do anything that we set our minds to. I believe that too, but my daydreams on what I could do in life, are different from these abrupt pictures of me doing things in the future. As different as thinking you may have done something before is from actual deja vu. And I can't help but wonder, does anyone else out there know exactly what I'm talking about?

I have seen another vision, once, of me grossly overweight, bitter, and living off public aid for the rest of my life, letting others pay my way through taxes while I sit on my butt with a clicker all day. That one shocked me off of my butt and into exericising daily and trying even harder to get back in school. That was about six months ago, and I have not had a 'vision' like it since. However, there has been one more where I saw myself, older, perhaps my thirties, and still waitressing. I saw myself happy, but wishing for more at the same time, all the while working my butt off for everything I have. I hope, I make decisions that put me in the position of doing the other things I've seen.

I'd most like to meet this political me and the reservation me, they are most intriguing...