Silly Mommy
Sep 30, 2004

What can I say? I treasure Mondays and Wednesdays as I can get caught up on a LOT of stuff school and otherwise but I sorely miss my boy :( He spends the night at his t-t Julie's, leaving my arms at about 8am and I don't see him again until 5:30pm Tuesday/Thursday. I think it's good for us though ultimately. I get a lot of stuff done on those days (which Wednesday is a very vital day as far as a lot of my school work goes) and when he gets back, I have a lot more time freed up to spend with him, my attention mostly undivided. Instead of trying to do both all smashed into one to where neither Michael or my school work or my writing gets the focus it needs.

But he's only three years old, so I'm allowed to miss him and enjoy it and wish he was here all at the same time right? lol. Like the title says, *points to title* Silly Mommy.

A lot of signs seem to be pointing to writing lately. You may think I'm being silly, but I had a dream a couple of days ago, and nearly everything in it symbolized success in something failure was expected--and the dream dictionary I was looking at for fun, did have some negatives. For example, anything breaking in a dream was very bad all around UNLESS it was your ring, your eyeglasses, and/or a bone--The two things that broke in my dream were my glasses (in three places--my lucky number) and my favourite ring--one boding success where failure was expected and the other success in my most desired financial/business endeavor/goals whatever--there were several other things that stuck out in my dream--including a library full of books in which I was browsing that also bode well success-wise.

Then, Nicki and I recently acquired an infestation of spiders--house spiders of all kinds in fact. Could be the change in weather, but Nicki suggested we look up to see what they mean, so out of fun, we looked it up--Spiders are an indication of creativity--a message to start creating, well, you can read about it more thoroughly in Chorus. Two weeks before that (when I wasn't writing regularly at all) I was seeing, on average, 4 spiders a day in the house, and killing many of them (to dream of killing a spider is good luck too btw), but there were still more to replace them, then I had that dream, and a day later we looked up what seeing an unusual amount of spiders meant. Since then I mentally shrugged my shoulders and decided to practice the lesson Spider has to teach "Spiders strongest lesson is that of fate. She encourages us to weave our dreams into reality because she knows the mind is a powerful thing. She teaches us we create our own destiny because the past and future are linked. What we decide to take from our experiences can either be an aid or obstacle in the future and we weave our path by every action. Everything you do now affects your future encounters. She also poses a warning to avoid getting locked into barriers created by society. Our beleifs, behaviour and views on ourselves should come from us, not other people. This is important because these things can limit our possiblities short of their potential."

Since then, I've mostly been staying in practice, writing at least 200 words a day, though I've missed a few days. Since I've started the routine, I haven't seen any spiders, except on three exceptions and they were all when I came home tired, did a lot and contemplated going to bed. For example, last night, when I'd finished everything I needed to get done, I was performing a cleansing in my apartment, in the middle of this cleansing, I had a brief thought of going to bed after the ritual instead of writing, I turned the corner, went to the end of the kitchen in my cycle around the house, and there was a big old wolf spider on the wall *shakes her head* Alright, I got the point--I wrote that night. So maybe it is just coincidence, but hey, at least it's getting me to write ne? Don't take that away from me~

Ja ne!

--Saronai

Poison?
Sep 28, 2004

Get your attention? Well, obviously if you're reading this right? There is a reason I titled this update Poison? though. This Saturday a church in my town had this HUGE charity thing where they were having a free hog roast, free drinks, free games for kids, free blow up bouncy kids things to play in, and over 6000 lbs in free groceries and a bunch of bicycles and book bags packed with school supplies raffled for free too. Going was the biggest mistake my sister and I made.

First, there was the decision that kids had to come up to claim their prize if they won one, which meant my sister and I had to keep two three year olds and a 5 year old entertained with nothing but the grass in front of us, when they finally decided that was slowing things down, they just accepted the winning ticket being shown, by that time we'd been there for two hours. They had a break and we took the kids to one of the blow up rides--this one being a kind of playground type thing with a small slide and a wall down the middle so they could just bounce around. We stood in line for it for twenty minutes and they ALMOST shut it down before we could ride it. We would have gotten to ride it a lot sooner except that some very rude children (all looked below 13 but above 8) kept cutting in line--it happened three times to us--I'm not talking three kids either, I'm talking three separate groups of kids. A fourth tried, but the lady and her kids behind us told them that they were going to have to get behind her because it wasn't right. I'm glad she did. There are, no offense to any racial group out there, especially in my town it seems, many black people in this town who automatically make a big racial fuss everytime you say anything reproachful or negative to them--including and maybe even especially the kids do this--it becomes all about how you're prejudice or just "shut up white bitch" Gee thanks, I didn't want to cause a big scene and neither did my sister, so we mainly just talked about how rude it was and told our children how to properly behave without showing them children that did cut (we tried the empathy approach to teach ours not to mimic the ruder children)--the lady behind us that stopped the last group (4 kids) from cutting was black, so it remains to be seen whether or not my sister or I saying anything would have made a scene.

That's not all, several times the people on stage had to tell people to only go through the line for cooked food once so that those who hadn't eaten yet would have something. All the food was gone before Julie and I could even get in line for the kids--so we did not have lunch, none of us did until Julie took the kids home while I held all of our tickets until the end of the raffle. Our kids got some very cheap penny toys (not complaining that we didn't get anything, just pointing out that not only was the whole thing annoying, but we didn't get anything worth the heavy amount of annoyance either) and a glass of water with ice--three between us to share to be exact. They told people not to get in line for the 6000 lbs of free groceries until they were told, Julie and I listened to directions, by the time they told everyone it was ok to get in line, the people who didn't listen made the line so long that Julie and I were afraid to get in it just to get nothing when we got up there or to find out the groceries weren't all that great, or that we only got one bag for standing there for two hours when we still had to clean her house for Michael's birthday party Sunday. So we left.

The major part of the annoyance? There was a family there sitting not far from us who won 3 of the bikes and 3 or 4 bookbags full of school supplies. No big deal except that, keep in mind that everyone knew a church was putting this on--it was on EVERY flyer all over town--during the little 30 minutes a Harlem Globe Trotter spoke about finding God, this family was doing things like bellowing "Boooooooooooooooooooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!" and "Man shut up, we're here for the free stuff, not you!" , "Come on! Shut up and do the raffle already!" How VERY disrespectful! Even if you didn't win ANYTHING, you should at least be respectful enough to keep comments like that under a lid, especially since it only lasted half an hour. This church did a VERY good thing and out of respect you should let them do their little bit of witnessing at least.

Weeeeeeeeeeell, so what about poisoning? Heh. A person I work with went and she and her mother stood in line for those groceries. She said everything they were given was either already expired or very close to it. This was on the 25th, she was given a jar of mayo that expired the 18th. Wait, I'm not done yet, I talked to her on IM, she has been VERY sick since she ate the food they cooked there, and so has her mother. She didn't come into work, and 4 employees at Carle Clinic called in sick today too...I wonder how many people called in sick that ate at that function? The girl I work with says that she feels like it is probably food poisoning--let's see, expired groceries? Why not cook expired food for the big cook out too? Odd that both her and her mother ate it and they both have food poisoning symptoms.

I just can't begin to imagine how bad off I'd be if I'd ate that--I can't afford to lose half an hour of work, let alone a whole day or more. THAT'S not without saying that we had three kids, one whose birthday party was the very next day. I'm not saying that if it was food poisoning everyone who got it deserved it by any means (though those who weren't listening and going back in line anyway might've learned something from it, but that's not justifiable when you look at all the children that probably did eat it and got sick and the people who were listening), I'm just saying that I feel a WHOLE lot less irritated about the kids not even getting to eat anything and a WHOLE lot more grateful they ran out before we could get up there. Not to mention grateful Julie and I decided not to stay in the line for two hours just to get a bunch of expired groceries that could make us sick if we chanced them.

This was one of those lessons in fate that teaches us that what we might think is our rotten luck and a bum deal may actually turn out to be very good luck later on and a great deal of relief that you didn't get what you'd wanted. I'll keep an eye on the newspaper and maybe scan the clipping if it turns out that my fellow employee's suspicions on her sickness are correct. There were over 1000 people out there, and quite a bit were fed, I'm sure if the food was bad there's gonna be plenty more people sick from it. I hope our economy doesn't get sunk here by lawsuits or demands for the payment of medical bills though...it's bad enough people got sick but something like that could punish the rest of us and worsen the conditions for those effected.

--Saronai