Vegetarianism
Apr 8, 2005

It was something we brushed on in Logic class. It started out as a discussion about there being no difference between killing a deer and killing a cow. I've thought about vegertarianism plenty of times before. If being enlightened requires vegetarianism, I'm afraid I'm going to have to sit this life out on that one. I can't seem to pull it off. First of all, I am notoriously picky. I like fruits and vegetables, many of them, but I just can't bring myself to eat many of the other, more expensive (I'm rather poor, and vegetariansim seems to me to be a luxury of the more financially stable families) fruits and veggies to replace the nutrients I need from meat.

However, there is another factor, I feel just as close to plants as I do animals. I'm one of those people who, although I am poor and have no yard to speak of, I have as many plants as I can jam in and afford, and I talk to them all. I even sung a wisteria vine back to health. It was worsening every day since I replanted it, wilting and just about dead. So, one night I just felt like it wanted to hear music, so I sung to it, it became a nightly ritual before bed, and I'd even do it occasionally in the afternoon and sometimes in the morning too. The more I sang the faster it grew back into full-fledged health. It's wintered over now, but, it's still in a large pot, in my room now (they are supposed to be able to withstand winter, but I was worried about the wisteria--it's my favourite plant besides the weeping willow tree), it was starting to look hopeless again, but I've just started singing to it again and now it's getting tiny leaf buds ^_^

*ahem* Anyway~my point is that, to me, plants are living beings too and I feel just as guilty about having to eat them, but then what should I eat? By that philosophy, I shouldn't even breathe! I'm killing some germs in the air when I breathe. It starts to border on illogical. However, there is one fine point that still makes me feel guilty, herbivores have to eat a lot less to get the energy they need because, essentially, we all get our energy from the sun, plants directly, through photo-synthesis, herbivores from the plants, omnivores from the plants and herbivores (more diluted taken from the herbivores), and carnivores in total diluted form from the herbivores. Do you remember this pyramid from school? This would render eating carnivores totally pointless besides enjoying the taste, which, for my personal code (meaning I won't condemn others for it, I just won't do it) is a total waste of life.

Despite this guilt over eating animals because of the food pyramid, I feel more that we really are all part of the food chain, it's a natural thing. The least I can do if I'm not going to stop eating meat is to not let myself forget what I am eating. I do not let myself be fooled by appearances, just because it looks like a circular patty does not mean it didn't use to look like a cow. Before I eat, plant or animal, I remind myself what I am eating, and privately, I apologize to the animal's or plant's spirit for my dependence on the food chain and I thank them for their sacrifice. It seems stupid on one level, but it is all I have to offer except my own death for not eating anything. My own death would be pointless too, to choose death is to not just choose to do nothing bad for other lives but to choose to do nothing good for other lives. Accept and know your actions and try to make the best of your life, to do as much good as you can so that the lives you take are not pointless.

Incidently, I believe this thinking is what makes fasting such a useful spiritual tool. Whenever I seek spiritual contact with life of any form (corporeal or ethereal), I make it a point to not consume anything, plant or animal at least 24 hours before hand, at least not anything that takes the lives of a plant or animal. I admit that I'm willing to let microscopic deaths bypass me, whether I'm eating them in things like water and killing them is irrelevant because there is no action I could do that wouldn't be killing thousands of microscopic beings. To recognize that is a good thing, too dwell on it and feel constantly guilty every time you breathe in and out is obstructing to the other good you can do, it's just not practical to live that way, at least for me.

If you sit in one place your whole life because you don't want to kill the plants or bugs you might step on, you'll end up doing nothing but sitting on your duff the whole time, wasting your life. You'll die sitting on your duff and no one will ever benefit from whatever good you can pass on. Besides, if you let yourself die just to avoid killing the microscopic, you are still killing the microscopic (ie the ones in your body).

That's how I feel anyway.

--Saronai

Crazy Tired
Apr 4, 2005

While doing homework in extreme exhaustion, I wasted a LOT of my time last night. Yep. I had a test today for my online sociology test, I spent two hours admist interruptions reading the chapter for it and then an hour and a half doing the exercise worksheet only to discover when I was done that we skipped that worksheet and we were supposed to do the one after it. Yay! 3am and an hour and a half wasted and I get to keep going if I want the points for that assignment. After doing the actual exercise it was 4:30am and I had to be up by 9am *sigh* Got up and took the trouble to come to school only to discover that my only class for the day was canceled. *Cries* I could have slept in! T~T Decided to make the most of it and went to the library to take the online test for sociology. I log on, tell the computer to start the timed test (there's no going back after that) and read the first question. It is true or false and I don't recall reading that statement but it sounds true and not false, I reeeeeeeeeally don't recall reading anything like that. I get a falling sensation in my stomach. Oh no! Don't tell me! I groan and realize that not only did we skip an exercise we also skipped a chapter. Yes, you heard me, I read the wrong chapter! I was so tired I didn't even make the connection that I wasn't reading about racial and ethnic inequality but about stratification worldwide (I knew the current chapter was on race and ethnicity and there was a lot of mentions of that in the stratification chapter). Yeah, I wasted another two hours that could have been better spent doing something besides reading an irrelevant chapter. *Sigh* The good news is that I only missed two questions on the test anyway ^_^

With some good news that has me fairly excited, I may be getting something this August that I have always wanted! On his around the country trip, my ex met someone with a siberian husky. Her siberian husky has gotten pregnant by one of the neighboring wolves in the country-side and he has secured one of the puppies for me if I want it. *bounces* yay! I'm so excited! I looooooooooooove siberian huskies! I looooooooooove wolves! I can't wait to see the puppy, I get to raise it from a puppy! *bounces some more* I'm not a big dog person but we're not talking about just any dog, the inconveniences of a dog will be nothing to having the kind you've always wanted. And s/he'll be free! *bounces again* I can't wait! I'll have a jogging companion (because believe you me, even on days I don't feel like exercising I'm going to have to with a siberian husky--especially one mixed with the wander-lusting wolf!). The only drawbacks are my current living situation, I have a rather small yard, no pen and not my own house. My sister says she won't mind but still the yard is small :/ I'll have to do a loooooooooot of walking and I'll have to have plenty of extra time to spoil I mean to spare for him/her. And Yin (my cat) will be jealous of the shared attention lol). I can't have another, that'll be another disadvantage because both huskies and wolves are big time pack animals and are happier with more than just themselves around, but maybe there'll be enough people acting like a pack to satisfy him/her (The best way to get behaviour from a dog that you want is to get in the pack manner, with you and everyone else in the family as the leaders). Yay! Yay! Yay! I'm already think of names heehee ^0^ I've also read that the typical life span is 12-15 years :/ That's pretty sad though, I can expect to grieve over my husky at about 40 years old *sigh* Now the only thing remaining is to really piss Yin off by getting either a Himalayan or Siamese Cat ^_^ I've always wanted one or the other of those too lol. Yin will be mad because she is the spoiled Queen of my living space and refuses to share it with anyone else (she's even gotten jealous over my siamese-fighting fish, Ka nom tom more than once because I fed him and said hello *laughs*). Poor Yin~

I'm so excited!

Ja ne!
--Saronai