Good news!
Aug 30, 2005

Yes, I promised the good news a long time ago and unfortunately, I'm still going to hold out on you somewhat until everything's finalized. One of my best friends online came to visit me and it went VERY well. He was just as he's been these past four years online as he was in person, even better. I loved him, my son loved him (actually I'd never seen Michael so happy and content as he was when the three of us were together). I plan to go up soon and meet his friends and family too, and from there we'll see what happens.

My mom wrote me a mean letter about how I what I was doing was worse than anything my brother had ever done because I was teaching things to my son that would take him to hell (boy, I always thought I'd made the wrong choices when I graduated with honors from college instead of doing and selling drugs, running away, getting arrested several times and spending some time in prison--no offense little brother, I'm proud of you now, way to turn around!). You'll find a lot more about THAT in Chorus, I put it there as it deals with spiritual things.

The ex is in New York right now and haven't seen him for about three weeks. Maybe four? I'm back at my rented room at my sister's after having stayed with relatives because we'd lost power and eventually water for awhile. I now have a job working days M-F and I love it, very nice people there. I need boxes because I want to move out soon and need to pack some things, but I also need new boxes because my sister bombed the house while no one was living in it so all of the nice little buggies invaded my boxed things under my bed :/ Yeah, gross, hey, at least it's not you *grumbles* They are driving me insane though grrrrrr. I bought several nice little hotels for them to stay in, one for each box and a few other places they were really getting into. If they keep me from attaining the next tier in reincarnation then so be it, I can't take them anymore >_< No! I can't! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

I've been having a lot of good dreams lately too, at least in the sense that looking in a dream dictionary they all seem to talk about everlasting happiness, travel, news from a distance, easily overcoming all of my obstacles, and increase in status and wealth, everything short of fame and millions. Very encouraging Yeah!

Most of the time I'm very happy right now and soon (I'm desperately trying NOT to count down the many many days) I think Michael and I both will be happier than either of us ever dreamed of being. Oh, not that I don't expect some down times, but I just can see so much better in the future than has been in the past for us. I'm getting on my feet, I've discovered a deep, strong love that was hidden but always there and I just feel so good! There are only a few things that bring me down right now and I guess you could say that such immense happiness does not come without its price. I've tried to lighten that price but what can you do when someone refuses to work with you? At all. I'm sorry to those someones, but this is what's best for both Michael and I. I'd go into more detail but I don't want to embarass anyone. I just hope it doesn't get ruined for Michael and I. I might be able to handle it being ruined for me (albeit very badly) but I will never forgive anyone who ruins this for Michael. I've never seen him so happy and content about anything, I want him to be able to keep that. Please, let him keep this, let us keep it.

There will be some time involved, we'll move slowly...yeah, okay...I've pretty much spilled most of the beans now haven't I? Even though we miss each other greatly, we're going to take our time. Even though we're so sure (I've never been so sure of anything in my life), we're not going to do anything until we're ready for the next step.

I've already been told my new job will be hiring both myself and the other temp on for full-time regular positions after our temp work is done, so that's secure too ^_^ Now it's all about saving and savouring. I love life!

Ja ne!

--Saronai