The Life of a Flake
Nov 3, 2007

flake

noun
1. a crystal of snow [syn: snowflake]
2. a person with an unusual or odd personality [syn: eccentric]
3. a small fragment of something broken off from the whole; "a bit of rock caught him in the eye" [syn: bit]

I suppose I am a flake then...it's nice to just go outside for a few minutes after my husband gets home (so he can watch my son) and just go outside and lay down in the grass, feel everything around me. I'll lay on my back, stare up at the sky, close my eyes, roll over onto my stomach and stare at the grass, out into the woods. I have even gone out and just layed down in the snow before to watch it fall. I highly recommend that (just make sure to wear plenty of extra clothes so the inner layer doesn't get wet).

It made me smile the other day, as I layed on my stomach and watched a community of little insects in the grass a few feet away (I just watched, I didn't disturb in any way), someone actually pulled over on the shoulder of the road to make sure I was okay. "Yeah, I'm fine!" I had to laugh. "Just enjoying the day." He just kind of looked at me ^^" I suppose it isn't normal behaviour to find a small field of short grass, toss your sandles to the side and just lay down with the earth to watch bugs. I suppose it should be sad that such a thing might worry others, make them think I'm hurt, possibly in need of help. It just makes me smile that a complete stranger stopped just to be sure.

When I start talking about such things with "normal" people, I get a variety of looks, raised eyebrows, bemused smiles, or the "wow, nutjob, better go" look. I really can't see why someone wouldn't enjoy it. Forget about how silly you look, forget about adult societal constraints and just enjoy a nice day without a care. This is probably the most sane of "odd" ideas I have. I'd rather go lay out at night, in the snow, more snow below me as a cushion, just to watch it fall, sparkling in moonlight, glittering through the air, my cheeks nearly frozen than go to a party *shrugs*

There are still more odd thoughts, some I have shared (and may never share again), and others I keep to myself. I'm already enough of a flake in society, no need to let society know just how much of a flake I am hehe. I was broken off from that chunk a long time ago and I don't want the glue to be fixed back in. I love people, and am quite content to love the individuals and treat my own society as a student would, rather than a participant. Individuals and culture, interactions, breaks, embraces, language. I like to watch society the same way I studied that little community of insects. Why they move this way, instead of that way, can they even "see" me or am I too big to perceive?

I watch people and I want to help, want them to know that even if I don't know them or may not even get along with them, I want them to be happy. I tangent. Yet, I am not sure I ever had a goal in this entry. I'm sure quite a few of you still reading would enjoy the things I just wrote about too. Or perhaps only the Aquarius (Aquariuses? Aquari?) are still with me. Maybe some day I'll talk about just how far this flake has fallen away from the norm. For now, I have to go do the dishes.