I hear so many people speaking of what their muse looks like...I rather wish I knew the face of my own... I suppose I never thought about her visually, just as the collective of my own creative energies, an name to lable that pool of resources and personify it. I never thought any further of the personification...she likes elipses though...^_^" lol

So now, today, I'm going to muse on the appearance of my muse, since my page is named for her. She loves to write, fantasy mainly, and sing, she loves beautiful singing, and occasional gets the urge to inspire a good drawing or two--but those are on rare occasions, as if she collects all the practices I could be doing in the meantime, going from stick figures to Amy Brown caliber and plots them all in one spot every few years--granted, I'm not that good at drawing when those times come but I do produce art that, given more practices that come out like those pieces, I could become Amy Brown caliber. It seems, that is not the interest of my muse though...she never leaks the inspiration or talent until those odd moments ;)

I know her personality, but I still see no picture, thanks to this website, I have a lable for her atm (the picture of the faery with wings in her hair) but I know that is just a relative picture, not really her...Does it seem odd for me to actually believe she is real? I think she is, I suppose that is all that matters ^-^

She's beautiful, I know that, not because what she inspires me to write is necessarily, but because as vain and possibly as stupid as it sounds, I love beautiful things; which of course is in the eye of the beholder. I am strongly attracted to faeries. So I think she is possibly one of the winged little folk. Then again, the more I think about it, the more I see a stark picture of a thin, snow-skinned Japanese spirit folk in a silky kimono, looking down somewhat sadly and thoughtful (like they are usually pictured in old Japanese art). Her nose is small, her features delicate and smooth. Her hair is done up in a partial bun with the length flowing whispily down her back to her calves. She has the hair sticks set up in it and their ends dangle--no, scratch that, she has two, rather small twigs of wysteria in place of the sticks that should be in her hair. Their lavender, violet, pink, and white colors perfectly compliment her deep, reflective, violet eyes, and soft lavender kimono decorated with designs of the same wysteria vines in blossom with accents of deep green.

She now has a slight smile on her face, hinting at playfulness, perhaps because I am discovering her and she is happy to have such attention...The angle of her head is turned down toward my vision as if she were shy and she stands beneathe a beautiful willow by a clear, cool pond in front of her. I see her from the side, not the front and the pool isn't there, just the grand willow she stands in front of, facing to my left, she has taken some of the weeping twigs and decorated her hair with them, four or five trail to the ground as if they were part of her hair.

The pool of water is there again, behind the willow, and it has a small waterfall as well. Perhaps this pool is my creative energy that she is master over? Why else would I be seeing a place while trying to picture my inspirer? She has an instrument in hand...or hands...loosely, both hands clasp a shakuhachi (bamboo flute with extra holes and stuff). Still with a playful smile she brings it to her lips and plays beautifully. Other times, more often, she simply sings in her place before the the great weeping willow, her right hand outstretched poetically and her left in a fist over her heart (perhaps illustrating through these gestures her tendency for clichés...eep! She's glaring at me now ^_^" And it is very intimidating...*makes a slight bow of apology* She quirks a long, thin eyebrow at me, her lips pursed, as if pondering whether or not to forgive me. And now I am picturing me from the back with a rather large sweat drop on the right side of my head and my left hand scratching my head nervously...she's inspiring a rather animé-like scene now at the moment and it's too funny! Now she is definitely scowling with a large x mark on her forhead that stands for annoyance, her eyes have grown comically large with vertical lines beneathe them and gone into chibi form ROFL--she's rather funny ^-^

*ahem* (both clearing throats) The scene is peaceful again and she is looking serenely at her feet again, shakuhachi clasped in both hands and held before her, above her heart. That is where she stays, that is how she wants the last scene to appear and I am getting no more images :)

Now everyone must think I'm really crazy lol ^_^"

A freewrite based on one of my ideas for a novel. It's about a from a celtic clan whose clan gets annihilated by a more christian-based group of people in a not-so-christian way. Very young when it happened and as a result it has given her dissociative identity disorder and caused her people to become slaves who are forced to hide things they believe in and such through seemingly ordinary ways (like the child's song at the end of this piece); they are also forced to conform to the religion.

Well, don't know if I'm allowed an introduction (and there won't always be one) but I thought I should leave something to better understand the poem at the end ^-^

It was the dream again. Her breath choked in her throat and every part of her screamed with a knot of emotions so entangled they became a new, monstrous one that shred her apart and clamped its teeth upon her soul. Ther ewas fighting everywhere, it roared in her ears like a crushing waterfall. A foul stench hung in the air and wherever she turned there were more dead bodies. And men...

Kennocha fled, desperatley clawing her way to the real world from the bottom of a dark well shaft with no opening. The dirt walls tightened around her, threatening to bury her here forever, in a wild frenzy she began lashing out anyway she could. She screamed, thrashed her feet wildly and tried to claw her way to the surface.

"Kennocha, hush child," a voice said from above. A gentle touch smoothed her hair, bringing peace and love with it.

"Mother...?" Kennocha began to sob, more with relief than anything else. Warm, slender arms enwrapped her and a heart, separate from her own, pounded in her right ear. Though loud and frantic, it had a calming effect on her.

"Everything's fine now my butterfly," the voice soothed, its musical accent calming her further.

Kennocha cried harder as she retreated further into those comforting arms.

"Hush child, 'tis alright now." The woman began rocking her back and forth. Other voices surrounded them but Kennocha didn't try to make out what they were saying. Her focus was on the woman who held her, erasing all of her fears, and any other traces of the nightmare. She realized with further comfort that it was Brigid, the kin-mother.

The room darkened, and the other voices began to subside as Brigid began to sing an old child's lullaby. Her voice caressed any who could hear it; the sister to a gentle breeze playing with the silken hair of tThe Mother.

As it stands right now (this is for my notes as well as for the info of any interested reader) this is the code in the song. I need to work on it of course it's a little too breakable for the enemy forces (shelve that).

1. butterflies represent freedom to her people--for now lol have to research and see what it is they stand for if anything

2. Representitive of her clans main color--their banner so to speak

3. Representitive of her clan's religious, spiritual beliefs

4. Her people were attacked not long after they reached their summer lands

5. A winding path hints at a serpent which is her people's symbol for strife and hard times

6. The banners falling (so to speak not sure celts have banners--research)

7. Those who survived are now slaves (one of which made up this song) and are in an entirely different world so it seems.

8. Once again a reference to the banner

9. Inspiration and slight prophecy of hope for the spiritually defeated.

I hope my notes didn't get in the way of anyone trying to simply read this ^_^"