How's this for a writing update, I'm going to subject you to a crappy excerpt from Stalemate, my main wip (work in progress) right now. I will turn randomly and pick something and hope you like it. Yeah...right. At least you'll get to see how...um...well it's coming along. Yeah...well...right.

"Ti stalia, Wynaré. I'm sorry."

He's sorry?! Tears came down again, burning like liquid fire, angry, confused tears. Wynaré dug her fingers into her arms, gripping herself fiercely. she wanted to hit him, hurt him.

"I...my feelings on it don't really matter but...I wasn't myself. I've...never done anything like that." Silence followed for several moments, her anger and frustration didn't wane.

"I..don't think I would have fought Alex. I wanted to die when he attacked me. I...deserve it. But...I want you to understand why...."

Understand? Wynaré couldn't stifle the sob as the tears increased. It felt like she was drowning and, though she could swim, she coul dnot find the surface. She was angry, distressed, depressed, hurt and worst...she understood. She understood that she shouldn't be angry. She understood him already. She saw it when he touched her, felt it, the madness in his mind. She had all of the anger and frustration of it bottled up inside and nothing to do but keep it there.

"I...didn't mean to go that far. I just...needed to see you. To know you were real."

"I understand." Wynaré sighed. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve that, why should she have to understand? Did it really make the situation different? She felt the anger stirring in her again, her own private tempest raging in her heart, in her mind. "Why?" She growled. For the first time since she woke up, she raised her head and turned around to glare at him. Wynaré pushed his reasons from her mind, the memories and ghosts that haunted him. He stood in the far corner and averted his eyes, hanging his head.

"When everyone died...I spent years alone. Finally, everyone began to come back, one by one. They were...so real...we talked, we celebrated, debated, cried, planned. I still have a hard time with the reality of it. All of them...none of them came back. I was still alone, talking with figments of my imagination. Your unusual hair color...must be a wood elf or something...I couldn't think of how you could be real after all...."

Compassion for those feelings of his she could feel in herself, tried to soothe the edges of her anger. Almost, she let herself truely understand, to forgive before the anger flared again. There was still no excuse! Everything is not alright because he was insane.

WHY?! She threw the command into his mind so hard he fell to his knees, head in his hands. He groaned and Wynaré, though surprised by her power, found it oddly satisfying. She stood up and stalked over to him where he still crouched, holding his head.

"Tell me why you are allowed an excuse? Why is it that I have to understand? No! I will not allow forgiveness because it was understandeable. Why are you allowed an excuse?!" She just managed to refrain from kicking him but he fell farther to the ground, his head to the floor and shouted with the pain in his head anyway.

She was hurting him, his mind, without even trying. She could hear the mental anguish he was feeling and she smiled, pleased. Just before she was struck by the horror of her satisfaction at another's pain. She withdrew her presence from his mind and felt tears again. Stupid tears. She was such a cry baby. She fell to her knees beside him,s taring at her hands in the dirt floor. She gasped for breath, hyperventilating. I am a demon.... The legends of humans going brutal with blood-thirsty insanity from magic's influence.... She was no better than him. What will I do next? High Ones! What am I capable of? I enjoyed it! She felt vile, like she had just clothed herself in slime and manure and enjoyed it. She'd enjoyed it. On her knees already, she began to tremble violently.

"What am I?" For the first time she truly wondered what being an elf was about. This feral, foul side of her, was it truly the demonic elf trying to overtake the side of her raised by humans.

Kei crawled to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her and she let him. "You are confused, that's what you are."

So many tears...why had she ever thought bringing Kei into her life would bring her happiness, the missing piece to her life. Were tears, sorrow and a demonic nature the missing pieces all along?

"No," Kei soothed, running a hand through her hair as though she were a child. "No. Tears, sorrow, a twisted sould, they are not you, they are not elven or demonic. They are me Wyn, me. Your mind has become too confused with mine and you are letting my illness take you."

She could feel his fear, though he held her, he kept himself distanced. There was an invisible wall between them to protect himself from further psychic onslaught. That was the evidence of fear. Even more so, she could feel it, the sensation of falling near his heart as it beat loud and fast in her ears, the tangibility of its heavy cloud int he air, a chilling, icy rain. Or was that her own fear of herself? No...she had picked up some of his "illnesses" but she could tell. That tempest...and its pleasure had come from within her, a dark shadow she'd managed to keep locked away...until now.

If not because of her elven heritage...if she were to believe Kei...then perhaps magic really does steal pieces of your soul until you no longer have one? After all, she was definitely using magic when she did it.... Wynaré shivered but it was lost in the weak trembles she was already suffering from. Deep inside, she knew, that monster, her shadow self, had been there all along.

Kei's silence, though she knew he heard her thoughts, only served to confirm her fears.

**********

Yep, see, it sucks. I'm not telling you what Kei did to her, I'm changing it anyway, but not until I finish writing it the whole way through first. I also think I'm going to show her a little darker here. I don't think I stressed enough of her evil side to warrant her reaction to it. If you knew her destiny and what she is capable of, you'd agree she needs to be darker than a few painful mind attacks here. Especially since this scares her so bad that for the next month or so she retreats into herself and refuses to come out. Well...I don't know...maybe it's enough, but it still needs tweaking, that's definite. Well, as rough as this was (I didn't do any revising I typed it as it was directly from the rough draft), I hope you enjoyed it anyway.